The Power of Openness

Nasty habits are harder to get rid of if they are also nasty little secrets. There is considerable power in openness, spilling it all, getting it all on the table, getting it off your chest. Of course I’m talking about bad spending habits here, but it can equally apply to any “dirty deed”. As soon as you “confess” your problem to someone else and ask for help a great weight will come off your shoulders. One way to get this in action is by teaming up with a friend who has a similar (but not necessarily the same) problem and asking them to be your accountability partner. An accountability partner is just that, someone you are accountable to. You meet regularly with them and they will ask you point blank if you have been flirting with your nasty habit or entertaining any financially unbecoming thoughts (like buying that new boat you have been eying). By doing this you will help keep each other on track.Your accountability partner can also be there Volume 2 Number 7to call for support in a moment of weakness. This is particularly useful when you know you shouldn’t be doing something but have no one else to turn to.Intervention is another form of openness. It is often used successfully to treat drug addicts. Lesser and more simple forms of it can be used to control spending problems. An example of an intervention might be something as simple as an outside counselor coming in to talk to the family about “the problem”. Once it is all in the open and everyone is onside, help comes more easily to the chronic spender.Full communication is another form of openness. As parents, many of us don’t like to admit that we are not the fountain of perpetual strength and wealth that our children often think we are. That may be fine with infants, but it is financially deadly with adult children. A better answer to yet another request for money would be “honey, I only have enough money to look after my own needs, and if I give it to you then I will have to go somewhere for a loan. If you need more money you really need to find ways of earning more, or spending less.” Then turn around, grit your teeth, and walk away before a wave of compassion overcomes you. It’ll be one of the best things you ever did for them. Not only will it rid you of a financial drain but it will also teach them to be responsible for their own financial affairs. Once you start experimenting with the power of openness you will be amazed at the results such a simple thing can bring.
Scrooge